It's been a while...
Last time I updated everyone was well over a year ago, and I still had my domain. Much has happened since the last update, a LOT of ups and downs, and unfortunately mostly downs. So let's get started :).
First off, I honestly can't remember a whole lot of what happened since April of 2008. It is now June of 2009, so I will try my best to recall much of it.
For those of you who are wondering, I am still gainfully employed at San Carlos, and with that, it has become my longest standing job.
So, with alot of minor things left out, here's the rundown.
In November of 2008, my vehicle was involved in another accident. It was smashed into a curb due to road conditions, causing just over $1,900 worth of damage. This included replacement of both front wheels, A-Arms, oil pan, and several other parts. No body damage was sustained, but the right-front wheel was bent back all the way into the wheel well, millimeters from the fender.
Right about that time, I was getting fairly upset with a girl named Brianna, who I had met via MySpace. We had been friends for a couple months by that time, and had hung out once. The following 3 times I made plans with her, she completely disappeared until the next day, always blaming it on some sort of phone related issue. So with 3 times in a row, I decided to cut it off. She never made any attempts to contact me, thus proving her unwillingness to proceed with the friendship I had built with her. It took about a week and a half to get my car back. Winter came, and with it a few good snow-storms. I actually got the car back about a day before the big storm hit, thank god because my mom's car doesn't drive worth shit in the snow. My car, being front wheel drive with (at the time) nearly brand new tires, worked fairly well. I got stuck a few times, but nothing serious.
One of the highlights of that storm was that Cody and Justin took out the quads in the snow. Public roads, everywhere. The police didn't do anything, nor could they. The quads are super agile in the snow and cars don't stand a chance against them in those conditions, so nobody said a word. Many people waved and smiled, some seemed PISSED that such scandalous devices were being used on public roads. They were my guardian angels, following me around the island, helping me get unstuck from sticky (or lack thereof) situations.
2009 rolled around, and needless to say, I was DONE with 2008. But once again, 2009 didn't prove to be any better, in fact, possibly worse.
In January, I was sitting alone at the casino deli, waiting for my food, and going through my phone. With most of my friends off at college, I was at a loss when it came to my social life. I Came across a familiar name.. Brianna.. I decided to text her, see if she remembered me, maybe she was willing to give another try at a friendship. She didn't have my number still, so she asked who I was. When I told her, she remembered, and we got off to a good start, once more. I admitted to her that after I had hung out with her and gotten to know her, that I had a crush on her, also admitting that it "doesn't matter anymore". She responded "why doesn't it matter?". "Because I realized I didn't have a chance with you, so I didn't even try and just moved on." I said. She replied "Well we barely know each other so I wouldn't outrule that yet". I was surprised, this seemed too good to be true. And as time came to prove to me, it was.
My friendship with Brianna expanded exponentially, to the point where we were hanging out on a daily basis, to where it was weird if we DIDN'T hang out. I thought everything was so amazing, so I decided to ask her to dinner, low and behold, she said yes! I was in heaven! Later that night, while waiting for Cody to get off the phone with Rachel (his girlfriend), I was driving around, just so happy that finally something good came around... until I got a text from Brianna... "is this just friends going to dinner? or like more than that". The driving ceased. I found a park, pulled in, parked, and went into dark mode. I responded "Honestly, I was going for 'like more than that'." knowing that lying to her wasn't going to get me anywhere. She said "that's what I thought, and I think I should tell you that we should keep it as friends for now". I felt like my life had ended, everything that I had worked so hard for, snatched away from me in one little SMS message. FML.
I continued to hang out with her, it took me a few days to recuperate, but eventually I was able to see her. We hung out more than our fair share, until May 12th, the last day I ever saw her (at the time of this writing). And here's why.
May 9th, may not seem significant to you, but to me, it's the day I celebrate the day I was born. I was hanging out with her, having an already shitty birthday, being with my best friend was comforting. She got a text from Justin, who at the time, I was not on good terms with. It said "I have something I want to show you." Just what I need, someone who I wasn't happy with provoking my friend to stop hanging out with me. And successful he was, thanks in part to me. I suggested that perhaps he finally acquired a car he had been looking at for months. But as usual goes for me, I forgot that the car he had his eye on, was the model of car that Brianna was in love with. Needless to say, Justin's 2002 Mustang GT pulled my best friend away from me, on my birthday. I in no way blame Justin for this, in fact I completely understand. He just got a fucking sweet car, and wants to show it off. The next day, was Mother's Day. I had asked Brianna if she wanted to hang out, or if she had to stay in due to it being more of a family day. I got no response, so about 3 hours later, I called her, with no answer. I figured she was with her family, and the next day she texted me and explained that there "were like 5 at my (her) house". Fair enough. Although.. Tuesday, during a conversation with Justin (who at this point I was on good terms with, and still am) told me that Brianna got ahold of him at around 8, wanting to hang out. So here's her, ignoring me, for whatever reason. Justin inquired about me, and she lied to him, telling him that I was "busy at the casino or something". Bull fucking shit, I was waiting for her to call me back! I caught this because while with her on Tuesday, she said "so this weekend, I was at Justin's house, and he was trying to do this..." and I stopped her there. "woah woah, when you were at Justin's?"
"uhmm... (now realizing I caught her in the lie) I dunno, it was this weekend, so he was trying to do this flip and he....."
"no, what day were you there?" (ignoring her story)
"I don't remember."
"K, well he wasn't here Friday, you were with me Saturday, until you ditched me for him.. so was it Sunday?"
"Yeah I guess, so he was trying to do this flip on the trampoline and..."
"Right, so that was the day you... said you had people at your house, that you weren't ignoring me.."
"........ you didn't try very hard to get ahold of me!"
"uhhh, should I have to?"
"...... so he couldn't do the flip and then I did it, FIRST TRY!"
At that point I should have said "get out of my car.", but we were going approximately 70 MPH on Highway 3 en route to Silverdale. She went to go tanning, and I waited in the car, at which point I called Justin to confirm what happened. That's when he told me that she told him that I was busy, and didn't question it. So the blame lies fully on her shoulders. Over the next few days, she ignored it, wanting to hang out, but I refused, not until I got answers. She wouldn't give them to me, still saying that I didn't try hard enough to get ahold of her. I explained that, being her "best friend", I shouldn't have to. She went to Florida the next week, where I heard things happened between her and an ex-boyfriend of hers. She returned, and sent me a text... "Are we still friends?" I told her no, not until she answers for what she did to me, and she blew up and REALLY blamed it on me. So I just stopped talking to her. 3 or 4 days later, she apologized for blowing up at me, I didn't text back. I was talking to Natalie on the phone about it, and she was texting Brianna at that time. I found out that Brianna deleted my number, and called Justin to get it, and got Natalie's number through a friend of a friend, in a desperate attempt to get ahold of me. She demanded my work schedule from Natalie, I'm assuming so she could wait for me and corner me. Natalie, like a good girl, refused to tell her. Brianna said that she apologized to me, and I had Natalie say "No, you don't get it. He feels like you're not apologizing for the right thing." So she texted me again, apologizing that it happened, but still not for making it happen. We got in another argument, and I refused to be labeled as her friend. She then told me that she was most likely moving this summer, and simply wanted me to attend her grad party. Fuck that, I have better things to do than attend her stupid party, she screwed me over too many times for me to want to be near her. And to this day, I still haven't seen or heard from her, thank god.
Now, onto something way worse! My car died, like actually. About a week before my birthday, my transmission... sort of exploded. Reasoning? Well, the fluid that was in it was "extremely contaminated". Wait.. 3 weeks before that.. I had a transmission service done at Jiffy Lube. They refused to take responsibilty. Fuckers. The bad fluid fried my Torque Converter which in turn made my differential actually explode, burning a whole in the casing. Awesome! $3,500 out. Note: I do not have this money, so it's sitting in Bremerton, and I am without a car.
This next part is still happening, so I'm leaving out (some) names.
I was clearly having bad fucking month, first my car takes a shit, then my best friend ditches me on my birthday, and ingores me to go hang out with the guy who has the car of her dreams. I was talking to someone, a girl, about how we should hang out when she comes back for summer. She came back a week early, just for the weekend, and we hung out that Friday at a beach fire, and again the next Saturday at her house. We sat on her couch, read the Police Blotter, and she fed me ice cream. I was so happy that I finally had someone to hang out with again. She left, and I waited for her to come back. She was scheduled to come back Thursday, but I wouldn't be able to see her until Friday, at around 4. I had a countdown going, which she thought was cute. We were texting almost non-stop, then on Tuesday, it all.. died. I don't know what happened, had I said something to offend her? I don't know. She was texting my friend Adam that day, saying that the countdown I had was making people ask if her and I were dating, Adam, being fully aware of the situation and how I felt about it, questioned her about the weekend, and her plans for me this summer. She also told him that I "called dibs" on her for the summer, and thought that was weird. Now she was just talking shit, and I knew it was pretty much over. Apparently I got a completely wrong idea, which considering the signals I got, was something hard to do. Something happened to her Wednesday night, and she's emotionally damaged or something. I still haven't seen her, and honestly, I've given up hope. I feel like she's mad at me. She ignores me, avoids me, and quite frankly, I feel like she despises me. I'm still not sure where any of this came from, considering it started a day BEFORE her little incident. She assured me that it was simply because of finals stress, followed by Wednesday night, which we won't go into. Again, I feel like she's avoiding me for whatever reason, and I can't figure out why, other than I guess I fucked up, creeped her out or something. At this point, I feel like I should just pretend like that amazing weekend with her never happened, and just move on with my life, sad.
So here I am, at 5 in the morning. I've spent about an hour writing this, and it's damn long. I'm contemplating posting links to this post, because on one hand, I want people to read this, on the other, I don't want to two girls involved in parts of this to read it, but at the same time, I do. I don't know what would come of it if they did read it, if they read it. Probably nothing good, because that seems to be the theme of my life.
Anyways, I'm trying to save up money for my car, don't know how long it's going to take. I've given up on this most recent girl, and I'm thinking I should just go into a fucking social dark mode, that seems to work for a bit, but it wouldn't be hard as nobody wants to hang out with me anymore anyways.
First off, I honestly can't remember a whole lot of what happened since April of 2008. It is now June of 2009, so I will try my best to recall much of it.
For those of you who are wondering, I am still gainfully employed at San Carlos, and with that, it has become my longest standing job.
So, with alot of minor things left out, here's the rundown.
In November of 2008, my vehicle was involved in another accident. It was smashed into a curb due to road conditions, causing just over $1,900 worth of damage. This included replacement of both front wheels, A-Arms, oil pan, and several other parts. No body damage was sustained, but the right-front wheel was bent back all the way into the wheel well, millimeters from the fender.
Right about that time, I was getting fairly upset with a girl named Brianna, who I had met via MySpace. We had been friends for a couple months by that time, and had hung out once. The following 3 times I made plans with her, she completely disappeared until the next day, always blaming it on some sort of phone related issue. So with 3 times in a row, I decided to cut it off. She never made any attempts to contact me, thus proving her unwillingness to proceed with the friendship I had built with her. It took about a week and a half to get my car back. Winter came, and with it a few good snow-storms. I actually got the car back about a day before the big storm hit, thank god because my mom's car doesn't drive worth shit in the snow. My car, being front wheel drive with (at the time) nearly brand new tires, worked fairly well. I got stuck a few times, but nothing serious.
One of the highlights of that storm was that Cody and Justin took out the quads in the snow. Public roads, everywhere. The police didn't do anything, nor could they. The quads are super agile in the snow and cars don't stand a chance against them in those conditions, so nobody said a word. Many people waved and smiled, some seemed PISSED that such scandalous devices were being used on public roads. They were my guardian angels, following me around the island, helping me get unstuck from sticky (or lack thereof) situations.
2009 rolled around, and needless to say, I was DONE with 2008. But once again, 2009 didn't prove to be any better, in fact, possibly worse.
In January, I was sitting alone at the casino deli, waiting for my food, and going through my phone. With most of my friends off at college, I was at a loss when it came to my social life. I Came across a familiar name.. Brianna.. I decided to text her, see if she remembered me, maybe she was willing to give another try at a friendship. She didn't have my number still, so she asked who I was. When I told her, she remembered, and we got off to a good start, once more. I admitted to her that after I had hung out with her and gotten to know her, that I had a crush on her, also admitting that it "doesn't matter anymore". She responded "why doesn't it matter?". "Because I realized I didn't have a chance with you, so I didn't even try and just moved on." I said. She replied "Well we barely know each other so I wouldn't outrule that yet". I was surprised, this seemed too good to be true. And as time came to prove to me, it was.
My friendship with Brianna expanded exponentially, to the point where we were hanging out on a daily basis, to where it was weird if we DIDN'T hang out. I thought everything was so amazing, so I decided to ask her to dinner, low and behold, she said yes! I was in heaven! Later that night, while waiting for Cody to get off the phone with Rachel (his girlfriend), I was driving around, just so happy that finally something good came around... until I got a text from Brianna... "is this just friends going to dinner? or like more than that". The driving ceased. I found a park, pulled in, parked, and went into dark mode. I responded "Honestly, I was going for 'like more than that'." knowing that lying to her wasn't going to get me anywhere. She said "that's what I thought, and I think I should tell you that we should keep it as friends for now". I felt like my life had ended, everything that I had worked so hard for, snatched away from me in one little SMS message. FML.
I continued to hang out with her, it took me a few days to recuperate, but eventually I was able to see her. We hung out more than our fair share, until May 12th, the last day I ever saw her (at the time of this writing). And here's why.
May 9th, may not seem significant to you, but to me, it's the day I celebrate the day I was born. I was hanging out with her, having an already shitty birthday, being with my best friend was comforting. She got a text from Justin, who at the time, I was not on good terms with. It said "I have something I want to show you." Just what I need, someone who I wasn't happy with provoking my friend to stop hanging out with me. And successful he was, thanks in part to me. I suggested that perhaps he finally acquired a car he had been looking at for months. But as usual goes for me, I forgot that the car he had his eye on, was the model of car that Brianna was in love with. Needless to say, Justin's 2002 Mustang GT pulled my best friend away from me, on my birthday. I in no way blame Justin for this, in fact I completely understand. He just got a fucking sweet car, and wants to show it off. The next day, was Mother's Day. I had asked Brianna if she wanted to hang out, or if she had to stay in due to it being more of a family day. I got no response, so about 3 hours later, I called her, with no answer. I figured she was with her family, and the next day she texted me and explained that there "were like 5 at my (her) house". Fair enough. Although.. Tuesday, during a conversation with Justin (who at this point I was on good terms with, and still am) told me that Brianna got ahold of him at around 8, wanting to hang out. So here's her, ignoring me, for whatever reason. Justin inquired about me, and she lied to him, telling him that I was "busy at the casino or something". Bull fucking shit, I was waiting for her to call me back! I caught this because while with her on Tuesday, she said "so this weekend, I was at Justin's house, and he was trying to do this..." and I stopped her there. "woah woah, when you were at Justin's?"
"uhmm... (now realizing I caught her in the lie) I dunno, it was this weekend, so he was trying to do this flip and he....."
"no, what day were you there?" (ignoring her story)
"I don't remember."
"K, well he wasn't here Friday, you were with me Saturday, until you ditched me for him.. so was it Sunday?"
"Yeah I guess, so he was trying to do this flip on the trampoline and..."
"Right, so that was the day you... said you had people at your house, that you weren't ignoring me.."
"........ you didn't try very hard to get ahold of me!"
"uhhh, should I have to?"
"...... so he couldn't do the flip and then I did it, FIRST TRY!"
At that point I should have said "get out of my car.", but we were going approximately 70 MPH on Highway 3 en route to Silverdale. She went to go tanning, and I waited in the car, at which point I called Justin to confirm what happened. That's when he told me that she told him that I was busy, and didn't question it. So the blame lies fully on her shoulders. Over the next few days, she ignored it, wanting to hang out, but I refused, not until I got answers. She wouldn't give them to me, still saying that I didn't try hard enough to get ahold of her. I explained that, being her "best friend", I shouldn't have to. She went to Florida the next week, where I heard things happened between her and an ex-boyfriend of hers. She returned, and sent me a text... "Are we still friends?" I told her no, not until she answers for what she did to me, and she blew up and REALLY blamed it on me. So I just stopped talking to her. 3 or 4 days later, she apologized for blowing up at me, I didn't text back. I was talking to Natalie on the phone about it, and she was texting Brianna at that time. I found out that Brianna deleted my number, and called Justin to get it, and got Natalie's number through a friend of a friend, in a desperate attempt to get ahold of me. She demanded my work schedule from Natalie, I'm assuming so she could wait for me and corner me. Natalie, like a good girl, refused to tell her. Brianna said that she apologized to me, and I had Natalie say "No, you don't get it. He feels like you're not apologizing for the right thing." So she texted me again, apologizing that it happened, but still not for making it happen. We got in another argument, and I refused to be labeled as her friend. She then told me that she was most likely moving this summer, and simply wanted me to attend her grad party. Fuck that, I have better things to do than attend her stupid party, she screwed me over too many times for me to want to be near her. And to this day, I still haven't seen or heard from her, thank god.
Now, onto something way worse! My car died, like actually. About a week before my birthday, my transmission... sort of exploded. Reasoning? Well, the fluid that was in it was "extremely contaminated". Wait.. 3 weeks before that.. I had a transmission service done at Jiffy Lube. They refused to take responsibilty. Fuckers. The bad fluid fried my Torque Converter which in turn made my differential actually explode, burning a whole in the casing. Awesome! $3,500 out. Note: I do not have this money, so it's sitting in Bremerton, and I am without a car.
This next part is still happening, so I'm leaving out (some) names.
I was clearly having bad fucking month, first my car takes a shit, then my best friend ditches me on my birthday, and ingores me to go hang out with the guy who has the car of her dreams. I was talking to someone, a girl, about how we should hang out when she comes back for summer. She came back a week early, just for the weekend, and we hung out that Friday at a beach fire, and again the next Saturday at her house. We sat on her couch, read the Police Blotter, and she fed me ice cream. I was so happy that I finally had someone to hang out with again. She left, and I waited for her to come back. She was scheduled to come back Thursday, but I wouldn't be able to see her until Friday, at around 4. I had a countdown going, which she thought was cute. We were texting almost non-stop, then on Tuesday, it all.. died. I don't know what happened, had I said something to offend her? I don't know. She was texting my friend Adam that day, saying that the countdown I had was making people ask if her and I were dating, Adam, being fully aware of the situation and how I felt about it, questioned her about the weekend, and her plans for me this summer. She also told him that I "called dibs" on her for the summer, and thought that was weird. Now she was just talking shit, and I knew it was pretty much over. Apparently I got a completely wrong idea, which considering the signals I got, was something hard to do. Something happened to her Wednesday night, and she's emotionally damaged or something. I still haven't seen her, and honestly, I've given up hope. I feel like she's mad at me. She ignores me, avoids me, and quite frankly, I feel like she despises me. I'm still not sure where any of this came from, considering it started a day BEFORE her little incident. She assured me that it was simply because of finals stress, followed by Wednesday night, which we won't go into. Again, I feel like she's avoiding me for whatever reason, and I can't figure out why, other than I guess I fucked up, creeped her out or something. At this point, I feel like I should just pretend like that amazing weekend with her never happened, and just move on with my life, sad.
So here I am, at 5 in the morning. I've spent about an hour writing this, and it's damn long. I'm contemplating posting links to this post, because on one hand, I want people to read this, on the other, I don't want to two girls involved in parts of this to read it, but at the same time, I do. I don't know what would come of it if they did read it, if they read it. Probably nothing good, because that seems to be the theme of my life.
Anyways, I'm trying to save up money for my car, don't know how long it's going to take. I've given up on this most recent girl, and I'm thinking I should just go into a fucking social dark mode, that seems to work for a bit, but it wouldn't be hard as nobody wants to hang out with me anymore anyways.
posted by Charlie at 3:56 AM
1 comments
